THAT time of year again

Christmas is just around the corner. 

For me, it will always be a happy/sad time. But, every day is a happy/sad balancing act, painfully aware of Philip's absence yet thankful that we have been blessed with our eldest and our 'rainbow baby'.


That first Christmas our eldest son was just four. For him, we went through the motions; had it been just us we wouldn't have bothered. It was anything but a "Happy Christmas". Even after nine months the pain was very real, the shock still very much with me, every day that feeling of 'I still can't believe it happened'. It was like sadistic time travel, taking me back to before I was pregnant, like it never happened but the grief reminding me every single second that it did.

In fact I didn't go to my husband's Christmas works do for years afterwards, as the last one I had been to I was pregnant with Philip. It was too painful a connection. I didn't want to meet all the people who had last seen me pregnant and years later would have seen me still not pregnant (that's another story about secondary infertility). 

But do you know what? I make no excuses for (still) being a complete fruitcake and hermit at times, for missing social events (especially in the early days those with new babies or pregnant ladies) because I don't feel up to it. I think I've absolutely earned the right to be gentle on myself and anyone who thinks otherwise can, quite frankly, just whistle. I really don't care what they think, I'm looking after me in the only way I know how and that comes under the heading of 'Making it up as I go along'.


So, I would like to share two things with you. One is a link to Still Standing Magazines short article about taking care of yourself over Christmas. A time when we generally feel obliged to make at least one commitment that we'd rather not.... read on for some practical tips on being gentle on yourself.

http://stillstandingmag.com/2012/11/self-care-surviving-the-holidays/

Two is another beautiful offering from the Memory Tree, a way to honour your baby at Christmas - a Christmas memory tree, complete with handstamped memory tags, a plaque with their name and a crystal angel. Last orders 10 December (Blogger novice alert -  please scroll down as I can't get the photo to move up!!)

http://www.thememorytree.co.uk/christmas-keepsakes.html

















If there are any topics you would like me to cover, please comment or email me on jo@philipsfootprints.org

Wishing you gentle days xxx

Rainbow Babies

May God give you... For every storm a rainbow, for every tear a smile, for every care a promise and a blessing in each trial. For every problem life sends, a faithful friend to share, for every sigh a sweet song and an answer for each prayer.

As another beautiful rainbow baby entered the world this week, I thought an explanation may be needed. The term rainbow babies is not known to everyone, but in the baby loss community it means a baby born after a loss.


“Rainbow Babies” is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn’t mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. 

What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of colour, energy and hope."

Wishing you gentle days xxx